Dear person who stole my grill in broad daylight,

April 26, 2008, 5:47 pm
Filed under: Anger getting the best of me

It’s too bad I was working (which enables me to replace the grill you stole, asshole) and missed you when you decided to drop in.

Perhaps you’ll think twice and decide to return it, or at least invite me over for a bar-b-q at whichever low-income housing project you live in. I have dreams of eating 1 last burger off my beloved Weber right before I take the hot spatula and anally penetrate you with it, cooking your large intestines in the process. Then feeding that to your dog… and mother.

You’re scum. I hope cancer gets the best of you.

Josh

PS: Take care of it. Douchebag.